30th

I shouldn't done that..it just makes my heart even more pain..

Never knew..I'm still left unwanted..

Should I say myself stupid or very stupid?

♥ note

1 整天打你、骂你、说你笨蛋；不让你抽烟的女生、要珍惜

2 喜欢吃棒棒糖的女生

3 你们接吻超过三分钟的女生

4 让你唱歌给她听的女生

5 对你发脾气、自己却哭了的女生

6 无论你提出多么过分的要求、她都会答应你的女生

7 这个你可能不知道，你睡觉时她总是喜欢默默的看着你。

8 表面上不在乎你，但你生病时她却着急的落泪。

9 你们在一起的时候，不让你乱花钱，总是第一个从口袋里拿钱付账帮你省钱的女生。

10 喜欢让你在她最伤心的时候、陪在身边的女生。

11 你们一天中打电话超过12个小时的，你最喜欢在电话中说她是猪、说她笨的女生。

12 你们两人在一起的时候，你总是叫她媳妇，叫她名字没超过三次的那个女生

This certainly reminds me of YOU♥

By your side

I'm tired.

There's no one that I can trust. This world is scary. Creepy. Coldness is all around me.

Daddy.

Why you bring me to this world and leave me alone here?

I'm tired to be strong. I'm tired to act nothing happen all the time.

I don't want to be a fool laughing and smiling when I don't need to.

Sometimes I just wanna keep my mouth shut and leave my mind blank.

When I think someone will understand me,I'm totally wrong.

Every time when I hear my friends talk about their dad.

My heart aches but I still put a smile on my face.

I always tell myself "I'm fine"

Love me for 15 years.

No matter how rebel I am, no matter how childish I am.

You always hug me.

Now I need a hug from you. Where are you?

I hate it when my friends purposely say something about my dad.

They always say "I'm sorry" and act like they accidently say it out.

Though I acted nothing but I'm not that stupid.

Friends? Not all friends can be trusted.

Lover? They'll leave you one day too.

Daddy.

One day..someday.. I'll accompany you.

Let's break up

The lips that said I love you

said break up too

my love now

it's nothing

even when I close my eyes

I still see you

even when I close my ears

our memory whispers

the happiness we shared together

Why do my tears dropping?

It's a path I cannot find

a path that disappears as soon as I walk

a path that blocks love

a path that leads to farewell

A phrase I forgot through pain and cry

a phrase that always hide behind love

Break Up

Results

It's finally here. My result. Well, it's expected. BYE scholarship~ =)

Hmm...ungraded..this seriously reminds me I need to study hard for AS.

Pray for me! =)

Drive! Drive! Drive!

Finally! I drove a car! LOL! The feeling of sitting on the driver seat, touching the steering, releasing the hand break, reversing the car, start the car, park the car etc. All these feeling, I can't believe it I felt it just now! Seriously, just now is so damn random. I randomly said I wanna drive the car. But actually I'd been curious about the feeling of driving a car as my mum don't really let me to drive her car because it's manual =.= Thanks to my brave friend, CC! Seriously, thank you for letting me to drive your mini car as I'm seriously really didn't have any experience in driving a car before. It's awesome! I'm not really scared but I'm actually more excited when I'm driving it. Can't help myself smiling when driving just now. LOL! I'm not very worry as the car is auto. The feeling of it is totally awesome~I never knew drive car can be so exciting and challenging! Love that feeling sooo muchhh! Today is definitely became one of my favourite day~My first time of driving a car on the road. I won't forget this day : 21st Dec! Seriously, I can't wait for my second round!!

this picture is just for illustration xD

PS : I'm actually driving illegally.. shh~

SUNFLOWER

found this view in SG Wanna Be's Sunflower mv..love it!♥

GLEE!

enjoyed listening to GLEE's Christmas songs. So, I downloaded the whole album of it. Seriously, GLEE is AWESOME!

few pictures from GLEE

these few days chased Korean dramas. I had left out my GLEE season 2!

~sad~

Lead me

time♥

coz we can't buy back the time

15th Dec

I don't know should I cry or smile..When I see your face,when I'm quietly stared at you, it reminds me of our memories..I wanna cry because I miss it..I wanna cry because our relationship is different now..When I see your silly face, when you talked something stupid..I smiled without reason..I smiled because the person is you..only YOU will make me feels this way..=)

My days

Mondays used to be boring

Tuesdays were getting dull

Wednesdays tended to be too long

Thursdays deceived me it was late

Fridays were confusing

Saturdays were lonesome

Sundays used to be difficult living only at the same scheme

This is how my weeks passed

Single = Single

what the fuck

damn

One word, "FUCK"! RM3469?! Thinking how to tell my mum about this..confusing..depressing..really feel like crying..but no point..really FUCK MY LIFE!

Dream

Frequently dreams about you these days..my teacher once said that when you dream something means you've been thinking about that something a lot..does this means I've been thinking about you a lot? Well..I think that's a yes..2 months plus..everything turned into habit..how can I forget? How can I let go? Dream just makes me worse..please give me a lovely dream..A dream that is not about HIM..

Kiss goodbye

I had a dream and it was about you ...
I smiled and recalled the memories we had ...
then I noticed a tear fell from my eyes ...

you know why?
Coz in my dream you kissed me and

said goodbye ...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY~ ♥

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU~

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU~

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SOK YEE~

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!

Sok! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I'm sorry that I can't celebrate with you this year..I can't see you blow candles..I can't see you make your wishes..I'm sorry that I can't buy birthday cake for you.. I hope you can forgive me~=)

I'm sincerely wish that you will enjoy your birthday..Don't always think negatively..Everyone remember your birthday..for those who don't remember..forgive them because there's no point remembering them in your life..Be more happy! SMILE~~=)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY again to my lovely roommate~ ♥

~make a wish~

I can't buy the real one..so tengok this picture larh~xD

♥HAPPY BIRTHDAY ♥

1st December♥

Ah~it's 1st of December~am I gonna spend my day at home doing math? Someone! Date me to a special place~really hope I can spend my last month of holiday nicely and perfect..laying on my bed now..planning to do my math revision later..my housemate and his friend are playing dota i guess~=.= so bored~argh! someone! HELP!! I want spend my day happily~not stuck at home! argh~

~I still miss you~

Flashback

Flashback..Flashback..and Flashback..

I wish it's only me..I wish that you won't appear in my memories..everytime our memories appear..I don't know should I smile or cry..laying on my bed alone..hugging my booster tightly thinking the way you hug me..yes..I do miss your hugs..you hugged me tightly through the night eventhough I had fever..maybe you don't even know that everytime you hold my hand or hugged me..it's like my heart skipped a beat..I miss that feeling..I miss the expression you made when you 'manja' with me..now..everything I do, there will be a shadow of you around me..when I clean my ears,when I laying on the bed you bought,when I hiding myself in the blanket,when I cook in the kitchen and etc..why is it you're the one who appear in my life? Why you made me love you? I really wish all of these never happen in my life before..because I still miss you eventhough I don't want to..

I hate it..I hate myself!

Shine A Light♥

Mcfly's new song is finally out! Danny looks hawt!My favourite British's band!

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Tell me are you feeling strong
Strong enough to love someone
And make it through the hardest storm
And bad weather

Will you pull me from the flames
Hold me till I feel no pain
And give me shelter from the rain
For ever

Where can I find her
She took the light and left me in the dark, eh
She left me with a broken heart, eh
Now I'm on my own
If anybody sees her (eh, eh, eh)
Shine a light on her (eh, eh, eh)
Shine a light on her (eh, eh, eh)
Shine a light on her (eh, eh)
If anybody sees her

Tell me can you hear my voice
Loud and clear above the noise
Even if I had the choice
I would not give up

I can not find her
Mcfly Shine A Light lyrics found on http://www.directlyrics.com/mcfly-shine-a-light-lyrics.html

She took the light and left me in the dark, eh
She left me with a broken heart, eh
Now I'm on my own
If anybody sees her (eh, eh, eh)
Shine a light on her (eh, eh, eh)
Shine a light on her (eh, eh, eh)
Shine a light on her (eh, eh)
If anybody sees her

Shine a light on her (eh, eh, eh)
Shine a light on her (eh, eh, eh)
Shine a light on her (eh, eh, eh)
Shine a light on her (eh, eh)
If anybody sees her
She took the light and left me in the dark, eh
She left me with a broken heart, eh
Now I'm on my own
If anybody sees her (eh, eh, eh)
Shine a light on her (eh, eh, eh)
Shine a light on her (eh, eh, eh)
Shine a light on her (eh, eh)
If anybody sees her (eh, eh, eh)
Shine a light on her (eh, eh, eh)
Shine a light on her (eh, eh, eh)
Shine a light on her (eh, eh)
If anybody sees her

原來你什麼都不想要

我知道這樣不好
也知道你的愛只能那麼少
我只有不停的要

要到你想逃

淚濕的枕頭晒乾就好
眼淚在你的心裡只是無理取鬧
以為在你身後　

是我一輩子的驕傲
原來你什麼都不想要

我不要你的呵護　

你的玫瑰
只要你好好久久愛我一遍
就算虛榮也好　

貪心也好
哪個女人對愛不自私　

不奢望

我不要你的承諾

　不要你的永遠
只要你真真切切愛我一遍
就算虛榮也好　

貪心也好
最怕你把沉默　

當做對我的回答

原來你什麼都不想要

I'm not DUMB..YOU DUMBASS!!

17th Nov

Went to Sunway..and reminded me of memories..miss it so much..

I'm glad you find me..

~miss ya~

Tired of you!

My mum called me just now..while we talked like normal..but once she said this,"Why you don't want to study Mable's that course?" And again..again..I fed up! You think I'm what? Testing machine? I failed..so? You don't even have the trust on your own daughter..how am I suppose to do well?! If this course cheap then study this..that course cheap then study that.. Better don't study!! I don't want to give up half of the course..This is the path I choose myself..and you agreed..but now? WTF! Is not that I wanna be disrespectful..but mum! I'm not a toy! And you want me to continue study then just let me be..Nurse is what I wanna do..so stop force me to do other stuff again! You know how fed up I am? You scold sis that she didn't continue her study..now I am continuing mine..so don't force me! I just wanted to study happily..stop giving me pressure.. If you want me to quit and work..sorry..my life isn't gonna go anywhere by this..and by that time..I don't think I can afford to take care of you..I'm planning my future..if I failed, just let me be..I rather I failed in my choice than failed in yours..

everyone believe in me..except you..what you want from me?

I'm getting tired with all this!

11th Nov

Finally moved to our new house..Although the room seems a little bit small but it still manage to fit us in..The owner of this house seems nice..everything was ready for us..he even helped us to clean the fan..how sweet~haha! Hope there will no any problem in our new house..

Confused! How? Should I? Or should not? I want to go Johor with you guys..but but~I really bo money liao!! So sorry! If my mum really let..I will fly there to meet you all! Haha! See how things go..=)

Hmm..everytime I move to new house..I don't know why I will think of you..while I know I shouldn't..maybe this became one of my habit..your presence..your smell..and your every touch~ I played a game called Find Out Your Friends Secret in Facebook..I typed your name..and the result is "Lucas Fazzwan loves you a lot"..how I wish this was true..Really miss this words from you..the three little words as my goodnight..the three little words that makes my heart flutters.. but I know it's not gonna happen..

Oh yeah..I FAILED!

Thanks bro

After 2 hours chatting and hearing his story..I really glad that I have him as my brother..Always give me good advices..the one who will always support me and by my side..you really teach me a lot of thing..sorry because of me..you've been through so many things..although we're always fight when we're small..but you're still love me as your little sister..哥哥..我爱你!

~thank you for letting me know how precious is my family~

7th Nov

Holding my tears..no matter what..I can't cry..

Eating Baskin Robbin..Walking around in the mall without direction..

Found out that..I'm not as strong as I think..

At Last

Woohoo~at last the test is over..! I had soo much fun yesterday with my classmates! Redbox in pavillion..Snowflakes~Sungai Wang shopping! Couldn't tell how happy I am..Let's see some pictures of my beloved classmates! Love toilet..xD

Gordon (who always thought he has a nice body..XD)

Sai Kit (love to sing very bery much)

Ying Hao (speechless..xD)

Ah Gkee (SN11G's comedian)

Xiao Wen (big mosquito)

Xiao Mong (eat partner)

Yee Wen (big eater but won't fat..><)

~SN11G~

Screwed

Nervously standing outside the college hall waiting the door to open..everyone having last discussion to refresh our mind..the door finally open..We went into the war destination..The papers are on the table waiting for us...When I flipped through the papers, WTF! 7 subjective and 30 objective?! Are you serious?! And we need to finish it in 1 1/2 hours?! OMFG! Can't waste too much time..quickly grabbed my pen and start doing it..wasted 45 minutes on my objectives..left 45 minutes more to do my subjective..God~First question..OMG! Second question..SHIT! Third ques..I gave up!! T.T Not even have the time to finish half of the paper..at least give me some time to write crap on the paper! Time's up! That's it Wong An Gel..You did your best to save it..but that's the end..I'm sorry..

I think 80% or maybe 99% that my scholarship gonna fly away from me..I'm sorry mummy~sorry my family~I did my best..hope you all will forgive me..I will do my best in AS and A2 exam! I will be like nerd..holding my books..staying in the library and study! I won't let you all disappointed on me anymore..!

but how am I gonna survive? Money is the main problem of everything..Should I just sell myself? Hmm~

Biology tomorrow..no more mood to continue study..just can't wait this test ends!

~wish someone can hug me tightly now~

Final Showdown

Tomorrow is the day! The war begins! Everyone do your best! For scholars, DON'T FAIL! For non-scholars, DO YOUR BEST! ALL THE A LEVEL STUDENTS! DON'T GIVE UP!

Think about MONEY! Think about FUTURE!

Wish everyone all the best!!

~wish you're here~

BLOOD

Ah! I finally went for blood donation! Donated blood for the first time..it just a little slightly pain..I can feel my blood flowing out from my blood vessel..touched 350ml of my blood for the first time too! I can't believe my blood type is A! I always thought mine is O~wanna go donate again!

Saw your blog..I miss it too..those failed surprise you gave me..haha! All the best in your study! I know you can do it! Miss you..my special friend..Don't Give Up! =)

22th

请告诉她我不爱她

别告诉她我还想他

..ILY..IMY..

Suppose to be 8th

~20th~

Kinda miss this day..Do you remember?

Tired of everything I did now..Do you know?

Force myself not to think about you..

Why can't?

Now I know..

It's better to be silent..

Don't even care to talk..

IMY

I Stay In Love

Dying inside 'cause I can't stand it
Make or break up
Can't take this madness
We don't even really know why
All I know is baby
I try and try so hard
To keep our love alive

If you don't know me at this point
Then I highly doubt you ever will
I really need you to give me
That unconditional love I used to feel
It's a mistake if we just erase it
From our hearts and minds and I know

It cuts so deep
It hurts down to my soul
My friends tell me
I ain't the same no more
We still need each other
When we stumble and fall
How we gonna act
Like what we had
Ain't nothin' at all now

We said let go
But I kept on hanging on
Inside I know it's over
You're really gone
It's killing me
'cause there ain't nothing
That I can do

And I keep on telling myself
That you'll come back around
And I try to front like "Oh well"
Each time you let me down
See I can't get over you now
No matter what I do
But I stay in love with you

We both know our heart is breaking
Can we learn from our mistakes
I can't last one moment alone
Now go I know

Fucking tired!

Wake up..go to college..hears lectures..concentrate concentrate! Finish lectures..Study..Study! Go home..Play for a while..feeling guilty..STUDY! 12am..time to sleep..and my schedule is just keep repeating and repeating..Starting to get tired of all this..really need someone can hugs me now..really need some warmth..and comfort..hmm..think too much think too much!! WONG AN GEL!! STUDY!!!!!!! FORCING FORCING FORCING MYSELF TO STUDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~super tired~

~so hope time can stop for me right now~

Fucking idiot

Realised how stupid I am..My mind is full of so many questions that I wouldn't able to ask you.. "LOVE" seriously..are you really in love with me before? I heard too many things..that I'm kinda realised that..I'm just a toy..when you need it,you'll find it..but when you don't need it..you don't fucking care about it..After broke up with me..I don't think that you'll be very very sad like I do.. The reason that broke up with me? oOo! Just tell me that you found someone like your ex..that you always love until you die..Just tell me that..I'm just a toy used to satisfy your time..I always believed in you..no matter what others said..I still thinks that "You're not that kind of people.You won't treat me like that." How idiot I am? Definitely totally an idiot..Told me you love me..you miss me..it's that a lie too? I don't know I still can believe in you or not..You don't even love me..but I still believes and waits for your return..I'm totally a FUCKING IDIOT!

It's TIME

ARGH! Just went to scholarship talk..make me feels so damn guilty! Thank god the result of stupid Malaysian Studies didn't include in year end..I seriously can't lose my scholarship..! Need to study till mad!! Can't fail!! Cannot let my mum disappointed on me anymore!!

WORK HARD ANGEL!!

DON'T THINK ABOUT UNWANTED THING ALREADY!

加油!!!

Blankly

I stared blankly at you, already that far away

It seemed like you would turn back again to look
I thought if I cried now, it might really become farewell
So I pretended to be calm and let you go

I thought about asking you not to go
But I couldn't say anything because of your cold expression
And just watched

I stared blankly at you, already that far away
It seemed like you would turn back again to look
I hated myself for just crying like that
Turn back the time
I want to go back to when I didn't know you

I can now see you far away
I couldn't move one step
Don't leave me behind
Come back to me
Please turn around once

We loved, you wanted me like crazy
I can't believe you're turning your back on me now
It was nice, we were happy to the point of tears
Our beautiful memories
At some point flow down my cheeks
It seems like I'm crying, tears are flowing
It seems like I have to let you go now

YOU!

THANKS FOR RUIN MY LIFE

AND

FUCK YOUR LIFE!

o0o

别为我伤心了

不是每一个人能找到真爱..

不是每一个人都会被人疼爱..

不是每一个人能永远的在一起..

我不能保成..

我不能给你承诺..

我不能永远的保护你..

如果有一天..

我不在你的身边..

我不再会守护你..

你一定要忘记我..

我们的回忆..

不要让那回忆躲在心理..

如果你还痛苦..

我会把那些伤心的记忆带走..

因为我不想看到你悲伤的样子..

这会让我更痛苦..

如果爱太痛了..

那就别爱了..

放弃也许会更快乐..

这样你就不会再流眼泪了..

但是我还会永远的爱着你..

把回忆留在心理..

ps : I'm not chinese educated..

so will have a lot of error..

trying to improve now......

Thank you..

我们的回忆

有时候,我不明白..一开始,是你说你不要和我在一起..当我要放弃你的时候,你却问我.."你要做我的女朋友吗?"我当时却还有一点喜欢你..我们就这样开始了..轰轰烈烈的爱情..冷冷淡淡的爱情..我过了很多的难关..家人反对我却不理..你对我说过.."慢慢来吧..我们一定没事的..'' 我相信你..因为我开始爱上你了..我们就这样过了五个月..在这里的日子..我们有很多很开心和不开心的回忆..

还记得那一天你和我在ECM说分手吗?你说你对我没感觉了..我的眼泪不直觉的掉下来了..你抓着我的手不放..我不董要这么做..我哭了..那天晚上,我喝多了..在车里面大声地哭..过了一天..你说你放不下..我就这样原谅你了..我不想失去你..过了那一天,我们很少骂架..但过了一段日子..你又慢慢对我冷淡了..我知道你就要和我说分手..但我安慰自己..我应该是想太多了..过几天了..你却没联络我..在FB看到你写的东西..

当我打给你的时候..我问你.."你有话要对我说吗?" 你说了很多但全都不是你要对我说的..到最后..你说了..''我们分手吧.." 我没哭..但当你挂了电话时..我哭了..我很难过..哭了一整天..方不掉..忘不掉..很想念你..很想对你说..我爱你..

现在..我不哭了..我不想为你哭了..我希望我们还可以做回好朋友..不要不理我..不要躲开我..我只是想我们可以像以前那样..

希望你的生活顺顺利利..祝你找到你真珍爱的女孩..

谢谢你给我的回忆

我的初恋

3rd October

It's Sunday and I have nowhere to go..such a pathetic day..Woke up at almost 12pm..first thing to do,turned on my netbook..FACEBOOK! As usual, the first thing I did is check someone's profile..It made me wondering..Why need to be like this? Ignore me and live happily..Friends? Is this what you called FRIENDS? But now I don't have the time to bother about you anymore..I just wanna go on with my life now..It's over now~Don't worry..I won't turn back for you anymore..

I kinda enjoy my life these few days..Laugh and laugh and laugh! Thanks to my classmates..especially Ka Seng,Gordon,Ying Hao,Peggy,Priya and Sai Kit..feel very glad to have all of you by my side..and obviously..my love,Sok yee~and Kei..without you all I'll be living with the deads..

Need to start studying for today..NEVER LOSE MY SCHOLARSHIP!

I'll prove to you!

F

FUCK OFF!

You want this?

Why? Is it hard for you to be friends with me again? Why you kept ignoring me? I know I'm no longer your girlfriend..but I do want us to become friends..Or maybe you don't want to? Hmm..maybe I'm not even worth to be your life anymore..even as friend..if you really want us to become strangers again..just tell me..I won't disturb your life anymore..

I Wanna Hold You

The dark night has already come

Firelight is brighter

I focus my eyes on your figure moving away

And look back to see if you're still there

My memories are filled you hanging onto me

I guess you couldn't bear it anymore

My greed unables me from erasing you

Please don't let me

Even though we're in the past

You're still smiling at me in this faded picture

Now it's time to let you go

But it's not easy to erase you

Within my white lies

I kept my feelings hidden

And now you want me to leave, since I'm not the one...

I wanna hold you

But it doesn't matter

Slowly I regret keeping my feelings hidden

Since I'm not the one

I hold onto the person that's leaving..

Aims for new Life!

Now my life is no longer depending on you..Made my new aims for my life!! Well, I mean new aims for now..Here it is:

1. Study everyday so that I won't lose my scholarship!
2. STOP using so much MONEY!
3. NO SHOPPING for this whole month!
4. One week maximum can only use RM70!
5. Need to improve my pure math! coz i don't even know a single thing!T.T
6. DIET!!! muahahaha!
7. Find JOB after exam!
8. BBF! *only I know what this means* xP
9. Live my life with happiness!!
10. Don't daydreaming!

I hope I can achieve all these! Especially the 1st one! If not, my mum will be very burden to pay the fees! T.T Wish me luck everyone!!

~Hope we can still be friends like before~

The End

I guess there's no turning back now..No matter how hard I tried to change myself..I know you won't love me more..Although I expected this will happen..but I never know it hurt so badly that I feel like wanna take a knife and stab into my heart..Now, I know too much thing that I don't know which one you said is true and which one is not..I really hope that you loved me before..I really hope that all the thing you said is from your heart..

No matter what happen..I want you to know that I'll always be there for you..whenever you need me,I'll always here..by your side..although I know you don't need me anymore..

Thank you for all the love memories you given to me..I will bury this memories in my heart..I think this is the last time I'll say..

I LOVE YOU

One more Love

I'm confused..

Am I been living in a lie?

Why?

I don't know what to do..

I don't want to give up..

Is it worth it?

I don't know..

I can't face it..

I wonder if you still the same..

I wonder if you'd changed..

The words which hurt me the most..

is still lingers here..

Felling insecure..

What if one day she returned..

I feel scared..

One day I'll be seeing you turn your head..

and never look back..

One day I'll be seeing you holding other's people hand..

and never let go..

I really hope that One day will not appear..

One more time..

One more love..

Invisible is all I want

Maybe I'm wrong

always thought I have a strong heart

Maybe I'm wrong

always thought everyone knows how I feel

Suddenly feels I'm very tired

Suddenly feels I'm very burden

Waiting someone to comfort me

Telling me everything gonna be fine

Hugs me with a warm arms

Touch my head softly

I wanna feel

the feeling of being invisible

Let all my burden buried just for a day

Let all my worries fly and never come back

23th August

I don't know..just need some comfort..izit hard? I just some hugs..is that hard? I really hope our conversation will never end..maybe you didn't notice before..It's always you're the one who ends our conversation..I dunno why..I just wanna hear your voice..everytime you say goodbye..i got this sour and bitter feeling..really miss you..that's the end of my day without your "love you"...

Busy!

It's been almost a week I didn't open my blog..It's been a busy week for me..A lot of assignments and I have a test tomorrow! Chemistry~haiz...seriously, I dunno what to write..

Need to sleep earlier today..wish me luck for my test!

Birthday Celebration!

Finally, my birthday!!! This year I ate 4 kind of cakes..haha! One from someone special, one from my lovely family(sister), one from my classmates and one from my lovely friends..I wanna thanks them from the bottom of my heart..I had a great birthday party this year..Although not everything run smoothly, but I still very glad that I celebrated my birthday with my happy and lively feeling..! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

30/7/10

~went to tc~

31/7/10

~my first cake from him~

~dinner with my family~

~18th years old beer~

3/8/10

~with my classmates~

Still got!! Haha! but the photos are not with me..I'll post it if I got it from someone? xD

That's the end of my birthday..sad~I'M 18 NOW!!!

30th July

I can't wait to go back! I miss everything there! Haha! At last I packed all my things to Nina's house..it's tiring but I think the guys are more tired than me..need to thanks to Sok Yee's mum's godson? LOL! He's a nice guy..too bad I'm not single..haha! just joking~now, I'm lying on my thin mattress at the living room..I can't sleep..maybe I slept too much this afternoon..but tomorrow I need to go college at 8am..T.T I can't go back to the room anymore..kinda feel sad though..there's so much memories there..but I hope that my new room can give me new memories too..well, I hope it will be happy memory~

Kinda happy that he called me..hah~I know he will seldom call me already..but I know everything will be fine..hearing Han Geng's new song now..I love this part of the lyric :

"如果没遇见你会怎样

是否能看见这片天空

你一直默默陪在我的身旁

教会我坚强

在下雨天我为你撑伞

记得那次我湿了右肩

把你沪在心跳的这一边"

Need to sleep now..good nite~

This Room

It's 12:36am now..we're just finish packed our things..the room seems so blank now..can't believe we'll move out from this room started from tomorrow..I'm happy to move to our new condo..because those crazy freaks stayed at the same floor with us..I can go there play whenever I feel lonely..but this room reminds me a lot of my memories with him..we play,we sleep,we talk,we shout,we sing, and did a lot of thing~well, memories are just memories..we cant find them back in our future life..kinda miss the time when you're around me..or I'm around you..haha! Besides that, Shu Min won't stay with me anymore~T.T I'll be very miss her..although sometimes she sounds like a mum..but she made us feel a lot of happiness and always do random stuff that made us laughed..Must visit me always o~don't miss me too much..! Hope you enjoy yourself at your new home!

~this Friday! Kuantan I'm coming!~

25th July

Yesterday night I'd been thinking..all those things that you said to me..seriously, I don't know that's a good thing or bad thing..It's good that nothing happen between us..the bad thing is now only I know who's the one you love deeply..It's keep playing in my mind..I don't know what will happen in the future..I'm kinda scared what if one day..one day she appears back in your life? Maybe there's nothing that we can really committed to..maybe there's really no forever.. If there is, please show me some miracle..I know life is not as simple as I think..

Preventing myself to get hurt..I won't put you as my priority anymore..I hope you know what I mean..My priority is my family..my mum,brother and sister and of course my beloved father..but you are still an important person in my life..a person who is irreplaceable..

Hope that everything will stay the same..although there's something that I will never forget..

~I will love you just like the way you love me~

Almost

I almost lose you..

I almost can't have you by my side..

I almost can't hold you..

I almost can't hug you..

I almost can't have you in my life..

I know I can't be the best for you..

I know I'm not the one..

I know I can't be the one..

But I really hope one day I can be the one..

until the day..

you must tell me because this really mean a lot to me..

Although words are hurt..

I can bear the pain..

because I wouldn't wanna lose you..

I don't have the strength to let go..

all the memories you had with me..

maybe it's not the best for you..

but it really means a lot for me..

I try my best for you..

You need to try my best for me too..

I don't know what else I can ask from you..

because you are too good to me too..

I will never let go..

until the day if you want me to..

Break record

Throughout my this whole life, this is the first time used RM2 in a day..and this continuous for 3 days..I ate bread every morning..bring bread to college for lunch..my dinner is maggi sometimes..and Sok Yee's homemade mee from Kuantan.. I decided to use as less as possible because of my room problem..I don't want to give more burden to my beloved mummy.. So basically, I used RM150 for this month..isn't it miracle? I cant believe I can use RM150 for one month..I'm kinda proud..haha! Having financial problem banyak susah..SO GOOD if I'm living in a rich family..stop dreaming angel!

I think because of my selfishness..I gave a lot of problem to a person..me and sok yee actually deicided to rent a room on the third floor..but yesterday I found better room! And I found out that it's located on the same floor with Jian Yang and those ma lat lou's condo! So, we decided to choose that room over the third floor room..we said sorry to her..I know she also will having difficulty to find people..but so sorry..I need to do that for my family..but I never knew KL people so childish..guess what she sms to us? "I'll curse you both from now on".. Omg! How many years old are you? I know we did wrong..but this is too childish dude~no eyes wan see already~xD

Well..this not really related..I just wanna say I miss him very much! Still wondering when can I see him~=( but it's ok..! I'll bear it till the end! ^^

~miss you~

Still can't believe it~XD

Delivery from love one

Seriously, I'm kinda surprise when I received the cake from Hau Hui..never knew he will did that this month..I need to thanks Hau Hui to purposely bring the cake for me..and thanks to my dumb dumb for giving me this surprise! It's already 5th month..I'm waiting for our half year~haha! And my birthday!! T.T Hope you'll by my side..anyway..enjoyed eating the cake! It will be my breakfast for this week..every morning will remember you! ^^

~loveyou~

20th

It's 20th of July..It's the day where we start our life together..I remember how we celebrated our 1st month,2nd and 3rd..although we can't celebrate our 4th and 5th month together..I believe we still remember every moment we spent together..no matter how far we are..no matter how long we've been apart..we still didn't forget about each other and still keep giving each other support.. Although there's a lot of thing happened between us, I'm glad that we learn to forgive, tolerate and trust each other everytime..because of our trust for each other..we still together until now..i hope this trust will never end so that we will stay together forever..I know it's too early to say that..haha! I hope everything that we've been through will bring us happy ending..I still remember how we struggle because of my family matter..but I really glad that I didn't give up on you..

"You are the best girl ever in my life that who could understand me more.."

~hope I will be the best girl in your life forever~

Never give up my love one!

HAPPY 5TH MONTH ANNIVERSARY

~miss your hugs~

loveyousomuch

Regret

I regret for not taking care of my teeth when I was small..

I regret to eat a lot of sweets when I was small..

I regret to drink a lot of soft drinks when I was small..

but it's too late now..

For 18 years in my life..

Why? Why you now act like this?

I can feel the painfulness every second..every min and every hour!

Stupid tooth! I hate you!

I seriously need a dentist!

But no MONEY!!!

And the stupid ulcer!

Why you getting bigger and bigger?!

Get out from my mouth!

This is more suffering than flu..cough or sick!

Please~someone bring me go see dentist!!

See my lovely ulcer:

My beautiful tooth :